Clarkson’s Farm and Top Gear star Jeremy Clarkson has taken aim at officials for issuing ‘impossible demands’ for his pub, before making a grim prediction
Jeremy Clarkson has lashed out at red tape after receiving an eight-page catalogue of demands from officials for his Cotswolds pub. The TV stalwart has also slammed what he branded “corporate bullying” and cautioned that strict regulation by officials could force more pubs to close their doors.
In his latest column for The Sun, the Clarkson’s Farm presenter outlined a surprise inspection at his establishment, The Farmer’s Dog, where he claimed that officials from Thames Water and council representatives turned up without warning.
While Jeremy initially believed they had arrived to tackle persistent water supply problems, he was quickly told they were actually there to examine his adherence to regulations.
He wrote: “You might imagine that staff at the near-bankrupt fish-killing enterprise known as Thames Water would be working round the clock. Ideally doing something about the hosepipe ban, rising bills and the torrent of sewage being pumped into the region’s rivers every day but apparently not.”
He outlined how inadequate water pressure at the pub has already compelled staff to collect water during the night and store it in a 6,000-litre tank to manage daytime shortfalls, saying: “All we get is a dribble.”
Rather than providing solutions, Jeremy claimed that inspectors conducted tests, including on dog bowl taps in the garden, before delivering a lengthy list of mandatory alterations – many of which he characterised as “stupid, petty stuff”.
Among the requirements, one particularly caught his attention. “They want [a change] made to our Rational steam ovens, which, according to our plumber, would be impossible,” he wrote.
The former Top Gear host cautioned that the escalating pressures confronting the hospitality sector – including environmental levies, food regulations, staffing shortages, and fiscal policy alterations – are already devastating the industry. “One hostelry is closing every single day,” he stated, noting that water firms now heaping on extra demands could prove the breaking point.
Jeremy also slammed the manner of the official notice, describing it as carrying a “menacing instruction” to execute all modifications within 21 days – “or else”.
“This is exactly the sort of corporate bullying that pubs really don’t need right now,” the Diddly Squat farm proprietor argued. “If they’re now going to be hectored by water companies to change the flow rate of their taps, there won’t be any pubs left at all.”
Beyond his farming ventures, Jeremy has been confirmed as the new presenter of a fresh spin-off of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?.
The upcoming ITV programme, Millionaire Hot Seat, will feature participants positioned in a queue surrounding the hot seat, which confronts Jeremy and enables players to tackle questions whilst ascending the prize ladder, with contestants eliminated immediately upon answering incorrectly and the maximum jackpot subsequently reduced.
Contestants also have the chance to pass and remain in the game, but this would relegate them to the back of the line – implying they might not get another shot at the hot seat, which is necessary to bag the top prize.
